Posts Tagged ‘little boy’

You came into the world quickly and quietly, with minimal fuss, two weeks earlier than expected. We thought we were ready but in reality, we were not ready at all. The bag wasn’t packed, I had only finished working a few days before, and our new van, purchased specifically for your arrival, was in the shop.

I packed a bag for your sister while having contractions and managed to somehow forget her shoes. We dropped her at grandma’s house just as the sun came up and made our way to the hospital.

And shortly thereafter, you arrived, into the world and into our family. You broke into our hearts not with loud screams and willful ways, but rather with quiet smiles and a few bats of those amazing eye lashes.

I’ll be honest, I was afraid.

I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do it again, afraid that the love for another would not be the same as the first. Of course I didn’t need to be scared, and here we are, six years later, still proving that we could do it again and that while no two kinds of love are the same, that doesn’t make them unequal.

You taught me, even from that very first day, that plans are made to be broken and not everything in life can be scheduled. If becoming a mother the first time was about expectations, doing it for the second time was about acceptance. The first time was about holding on, the second time was about letting go.

You taught me to give myself a break, and that it really didn’t matter which kid had the most baby pictures in the photo albums. You taught me to appreciate the moments because, no matter how much I wish otherwise, my baby is not a baby for very long.

I am amazed by your kindness and your gentle spirit. You reach out to hold my hand when we walk, and more and more I am realizing that you do it not because you want, but rather because you know I do.

I see you trying to be strong and brave, a big boy turning into a little man. But I also see the times it all gets to be too much. The times you go and find your blanket and come to me, asking to cuddle. I fear for the days when you no longer seek me out, asking for a hug and a story. I know those days will come and so I cherish these, tucking them away in my heart to be brought out and relived in the coming years.
You turned six today and went off to school wearing a little button that proclaimed you to be the “Birthday Boy.” You are so excited to finally be old enough to sleep on the top bunk, to ride a scooter, to stay up late on weekends.

I see you rushing forward, eyes wide at all that life will bring and so I will encourage you to go, to take it all in, to experience everything you dream of and so much more.
And when you need me, I will be right here behind you, whenever you need a cuddle.

Happy birthday, Bud Bud. I love you.

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