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Posts Tagged ‘Buddha’

It was meant to be.

As long as I can remember I have hated the idea of ‘meant to be’ and also its kissing cousin ‘not meant to be.’  I just can’t get behind the idea of things being so much out of my control, and the thought that I’m simply wandering through life waiting for things to come and for some unforeseen force to decide what’s going to happen.

When things happen, or don’t as the case may be, the words I dread the most are usually from the most well-being people.  They smile, they take my hand, they hold me close and then utter ‘it just wasn’t meant to be’ and my insides start to recoil.  I get that the people saying it to me come at it from the best possible place, a place of meaning well and wanting to comfort and hoping to reduce the pain. In reality though, none of those things actually happen.

Instead, in my ears, it sounds like a cop out, a throw away to try to explain things that can’t be explained and excuse things that can’t be excused.

And then, a few weeks ago, I came across this quote and something inside me just clicked.

It’s not that it wasn’t meant to be; it just wasn’t meant for me.

For some reason changing those two little words made it make sense to me.  Changing two little words made the idea ring true with me in a way that nothing else before it had.  Some things in this life are meant for me, some people, some experiences, some gifts, some adventures, some moments, some breaths, some tears, some laughs.

And some are not.

Where ‘meant to be’ sounded like an excuse, ‘meant for me’ sounds like a reason, it feels like truth in my heart.

And while getting to this place has seemed like such a long journey, I realize that the real work is still to come. While I can now view missed opportunities and unfulfilled dreams as simply not part of my path, I’m certainly a long way from being able to say I can let go of them gracefully.

Because if understanding comes from the head, letting go is very much an act of the heart and in my life, it is the heart that has always been hardest to convince.

But I will try, I will try because suddenly it feels worth it and the goal, though distant, now feels reachable.  The hard work seems difficult but not impossible. I can now dream of getting to the place where letting go is about finding acceptance rather than giving up.

It’s amazing the difference two little words can make.

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