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Posts Tagged ‘adult’

Today I’m having a bagel for dinner.

Today I got fitted for a mouth guard I have to wear when I sleep because apparently I clench my jaw so hard I have cracked three of my fillings.  This meant that today I spent twenty minutes in the dentist chair while a very friendly lady shoved a metal plate into my mouth that oozed purple goo.

Today I got to make another appointment to go back and pick up said mouthguard which I am supposed to wear every night when I sleep.

Today I had a flashback of being 13 and getting fitted for my retainer.

Today I realized that being a “grown up” is not really any better than being a teenager.

Today it rained.

Today it rained all day.

Today it rained so hard that the front of my pants got wet just walking to my car.

Today it was so windy the rain was falling sideways and my umbrella turned inside out.

Today I said some words I shouldn’t have.

Today I wore the wrong shoes.

Today the weatherman decided he was going to be right about the forecast, after having been wrong for the last 248 days in a row.

Today everyone else wore rain boots and I wore thin canvas shoes that were soaking wet before I even hit the door.

Today I left work early to make it in time for my above-mentioned appointment with the metal plate and the purple goo.

Today my car had other ideas.

Today the kids got to come to the dentist with mommy because daddy had to wait for the tow truck to tow mommy’s car from the train station parking lot to Canadian Tire.

Today I said lots of words I probably shouldn’t have.

Today I felt like everything was going wrong.

Today before my son went to bed he gave me an invitation to his kindergarten graduation and, with his big eyes staring at me, asked “Mama, do you think you’ll be able to come?”

Today a lot of things went wrong…but not everything.

Today I will finish my bagel for dinner, and get things ready for tomorrow.

Tomorrow maybe things will go my way.

Tomorrow.

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I saw the text from my mom – just that one single line and my mind started to race. What’s wrong? Who’s hurt? If it was something really bad she would have just called, right? Maybe it’s just sort-of-bad? What could have happened that would fall into the category of sort-of-bad?

I didn’t call her right away. In my heart I knew I should but I wanted to give myself a few more minutes of ‘normal’ before I heard whatever bad news I assumed was coming my way. I wanted to prolong the ‘before’ – to have a bit more time before stepping across the line into the world of ‘after.’

In those few minutes I thought about all of the other phone calls and the news that had come with them: your son is throwing up, or the test is positive, or she passed away.

I tried to remember a time when “call me” meant good news. I’m sure phone calls used to tell of meeting ‘the one,’ news of engagements or new babies, but now they seem to hold only bad news. These days good news comes via e-mail or through Facebook updates but bad news still comes over the phone.

Growing up has changed me from someone who excitedly anticipated good news to someone who nervously dreads the bad.

I finally took a few deep breaths, picked up the phone and dialed. She answered in a normal voice and made some small talk. I tried not to anxiously rush her to the point; tried not to make it seem like I was expecting the worst.

“Hold on, I’ll let you talk to your dad. He has some news.”

Deep breaths. Just breathe. I’m sure it’s fine.
And it was fine. Turns out my dad has a new job. After years of retirement he’s decided to re-enter the workforce and he’s happy about it. So I’m happy about it too.

And I can breathe a little easier. At least until next time.

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