Posts Tagged ‘a different path’

I can see it, just outside every window and at the corner of every thought. Sometimes it does a good job of hiding itself and I go days without a glimpse. Other times it is right there, adding hollowness to every laugh and breath to every sigh.

It is the other path; the one that was supposed to be.

I have spent so much time trying to find a way to reach it; it seems so close but the short distance is insurmountable. It’s like we are running on two rails on the train tracks, close enough that I could lean over and almost graze it with my fingers, but all the while realizing the two rails are never destined to actually meet.

It is the path of what might have been, and as much as my mind appreciates that living a life of “what-if’s” is dangerous, my heart just can’t help itself. It’s not that I think the other path would be any less difficult, any less painful, any more full of contentment than the one I am currently on. I know that each path brings its own challenges, obligations and gifts.

It’s just that I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’m supposed to be over there instead.

Supposed to be.

That phrase runs over and over in my head.

It’s not supposed to be like this; it’s supposed to be different.

I know I’m not doing myself any favours, thinking this way. I know there are things in life that can’t be changed; that the path I’m on is a pretty great one and the grass is actually pretty green, here on this side of the fence.

But sometimes I don’t want to be realistic. I don’t want to be reasonable or rational or practical or sensible.

I just want to take some time to imagine what life would be like over there.

Over there where I’m supposed to be.

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